Motorcycle Mama in Malaysia

At 53 years old I learned to drive a motorcycle. My husband was convinced this could be our mode of transportation for several years and was a patient, enthusiastic, encouraging teacher. The first several heart-pounding attempts to "ride solo" amounted to a drive down our lane in 1st gear and making sure I understood the brakes. Several days later, I got brave enough to shift into 2nd and make a u-turn in the cul-de-sac. Four days of that actually got a embarrassing as the maids and gardeners looked on.

The first day I decided to take the motorcycle for a ride while Eric was at work  consisted of  straddling the Yamaha 150cc and walking it from the car port to the street. Once on the street I mentally went through all the steps to start it: squeeze the clutch with my left hand, put in neutral with left foot, squeeze the brake with right hand, push the ignition with right thumb, rev the engine, gradually release the clutch and turn the throttle. I tried not to close my eyes as I started rolling.

The neighborhood workers got a big kick out of my progress. Some even clapped their hands when, after a slow spin around the neighborhood in 2nd gear, I arrived home safely in one piece albeit it with turn signal blinking. (Why don't turn signals don't automatically turn off, anyway?!...)

Fast forward two months and I'm now a "motorcycle mama in Malaysia." Like my fellow Malaysian bikers, I can now weave the cycle through rows of cars waiting for the green light and join the ten or more scooters and motorcycles at the front of the line.  Waiting for the light to turn green, my left foot stomps the whatchamacallit down into first, I rev the throttle with my right hand and I smile confidently at the 14 year old boys envying the bike. (Darn..and I thought it was me they were looking at) As soon as the light turns green they try to prove their masculinity with their Chinese scooters and race into the intersection. I  let them feel manly as they ahead down the road, but  it's not difficult to catch them as they putter forward, smoke billowing from behind, illuminating a slightly flat rear tire.

This motorcycle mama can now ride in the motorcycle lane with confidence and no longer panic when a fellow cyclist chooses to ride against traffic. The unwritten law in that situation is that I move to the right of the motorcycle lane and the guy (I've never seen a girl riding against traffic) moves to the left...Considering we drive on the left here (British style) that little "unwritten rule" used to be quite scary. Do I go left, right, stop, die?...

I thank Eric every day that he bought a biggish motorcycle. (I know 150 cc is small by US standards but almost everyone has very tiny scooters over here so ours is big in comparison.) I actually feel safer being to ride at the speed of traffic, especially when I need to change lanes to make a right turn than I do on my bicycle, or I did when I used to ride the motorcycle really slowly. To put the "speed" thing in perspective, the normal speed here in town  is about 60 kph (about 30 mph). On a small highway, I once got the speed up to 80 kph (49 mph) but it felt like my helmet was going to blow off so I slowed down.

My favorite ride is to and from the gym. I've mentioned the sweating problem of exercise caused by intensity, humidity, and no air conditioning and the motorcycle ride is the perfect anecdote. The wind in my face - I have to leave the helmet face guard up for the first few blocks to prevent fogging - and through my shirt acts like the perfect evaporator air cooler. And on a really good day, I make all the lights, so sweat doesn't pour across my eyelids, down my chin, and out the bottom of the helmet while waiting for the light to turn.

Now it's time for a bit of honesty. I like to think of myself as a" motorcycle mama", but I can't honestly put myself in the same league as some of the local "mamas", I would need to add a few more "rider skills" to my repertoire. For example to be considered a really competent motorcycle mama I would need to be able to:

1. Light a cigarette at a red light. Smoke the cigarette as much as I can, and let the lighted butt dangle between my left fingers until the next red light where I can finish it.

2. Light the cigarette and continue bringing the cigarette to my lips with my left hand while driving with my right hand. I guess here's where a scooter could be an advantage...no clutch needed.

3. Text while driving the motorcycle.

4. Text while driving on the wrong side of the motorcycle lane.

5. Pick up three children from school and give them a ride home: toddler standing in the basket in front, elementary age child squeezed in the middle (gives a whole new meaning to middle child) and oldest child hanging off the back with one or two school bags hanging off his or her back.

6. Drive with high heels or flip-flops.

7. Carry 3 natural gas canisters.

I guess I've got some more practicing to do.

NB. The motorcycle as transport is nice in theory. Rain, speed bumps, a week's worth of groceries, and two riders at one time make this NOT such a comfortable ride for the long haul. But it sure is fun for short errands!

Monkeying Around at the Monkey Park

Located less than 5 minutes from my house is a monkey park. I've heard many stories about the naughty monkeys in this park so I was a little bit shy about going....

Here's a conversation I had with a taxi driver:

Driver: Have you been to the monkey park yet?
Me: Not yet, but I'd like to!
Driver: You must go in the evening. The monkeys are more active then. Also, bring them some food. They like food.
Me: Like bananas?
Driver: Yes and mangoes, rambutan, durian, papaya. It doesn't matter. They like it all. But be careful. The monkeys are naughty.
Me: How so?
Driver: They will attack you.
Me: Oooh. Yuk.  Have they got diseases?
Driver: I don't know. Just be sure to put the food in a plastic bag. Tie the bag shut. Throw it out of the car window before you get out of the car. Then they won't attack you.
Me: Plastic bag. Got it.....(thinking a bit) Do they eat the plastic bag?
Driver: Sometimes. And sometimes they are clever and open the bag and just let the empty bags hang from the mangrove trees.

Monkeys eating durian or pineapple ( couldn't get close enough to tell)

Here's a conversation I had with a neighbor:

Neighbor: Have you been to the monkey park yet?
Me: No,. I think I'd like to, but I don't want to be attacked.
Neighbor: Yes, the monkeys are very naughty. I take my kids but they won't get out of the car. I throw the bag of rotten bananas out the window. After the monkeys have grabbed the bag and climbed to the top of a tree,  I venture out of the car.
Me: What else do the monkeys eat?
Neighbor: Peanuts, tin cans, plastic lids..Pretty much everything.
Me: I'll have to go sometime...

Here's a conversation I had with a different neighbor:

Neighbor: Have you been to the monkey park yet?
Me: No, but it's on my list.
Neighbor: It's hilarious. I go every night. Last night this monkey took the car keys from a Malay father's hand...apparently the keys were in the bag of fruit. Then the monkey climbed to the top of a very tall mangrove tree to enjoy his booty. The Malay family was begging the monkey to come down. "Please monkey, please monkey, give us back our keys." The monkey ate the fruit. The monkey tried to eat the keys. The monkey pressed the alarm button on the car. Beep, Beep, Beep. The Malay family kept begging. The monkey kept teasing. The, the monkey held the keys out at arm's length and dropped them into the swamp. Kerplunk.
Me: Oh, no! And then what happened?
Neighbor: The dad reached into the mucky, dirty, poop-filled swamp and tried to retrieve the keys.
Me: Was he successful?
Neighbor: Not while I was there.

Monkeys on mangrove tree in swamp

Anyway, tonight while biking through the neighborhood, I made the random decision to bike on over and see what everyone has been talking about. I hadn't planned ahead so I didn't have any food, which based on some of the stories, seemed like a good idea.

There were a mixture of brave souls at the park following monkeys around trying to snap cute pictures with their cameras. There were many who were charmed by the monkey antics but who remained locked in their cars and snapped photos through their tinted glass.  There were the "couples" who appeared to be on dates. The brave boyfriends cautiously left their cars to approach the monkeys while their reluctant dates cowered in their hermetically sealed vehicles cheering on their brave men.

One girlfriend who must have been getting hot wearing heavy clothing from head to foot, cracked her car window about six inches to let in some fresh air and took a loud slurp of her super-sized soft drink. A ballsy monkey must have heard her slurp jumped right up to the open window to have a taste. She shrieked all while trying to roll up the window as quickly as possible.

And then there's not-so-brave-but-really-need-some-Facebook-photos me. Having only brought my cell phone,  I needed to get up close and personal. My first several attempts were not too bad. The monkeys would walk towards me until they figured out that I had nothing to offer. Then, they'd turn, scratch their butts or armpits and walk away. I got a few pictures. But I wanted to capture the expressions on their faces, their babies hanging from their mom's fur, their playful rough and tumble behavior. I got a little braver.

Unfortunately one monkey was not pleased. She (I learned that she was a "she" for reasons I'll explain a little later) pulled back her upper lip, bared her teeth and starting walking towards me with a low growl. At first I started kicking my feet, backing away from her, emitting my "I'm scared phenoms" and saying "No, No!" But then, I remembered that I'm about five feet taller than her with opposing thumbs that used to be able to play a Bach Fugue, and I'd watched the movie "Gorillas in the Mist" with Sigourney Weaver playing Dian Fossey, the gorilla lady so, I held my ground,  looked her (the girl monkey) straight in the eye, raised my upper lip, and showed her that my teeth are bigger than hers.

Just then her monkey boyfriend approached from behind....behind her...that is. Obviously I'd interrupted a little monkey business at the park. With my big teeth and gums showing,  I gradually backed away slowly walked to my bicycle. The two monkeys lost interest in me and resumed their activity while the song "Discovery Channel Song" played in my head.

Next time I'll bring fruit in a baggie. And, I'll be smarter than the average monkey. I won't put my keys in the bag.

A Daytrip to Taiping- Malaysia

The name Taiping has had me enthralled since moving to Malaysia. I didn't know why I recognized the name Taiping, but it sounded like something I'd read about, and because it's only about two hours away, I knew I needed to visit. Today was the day...

The drive north was uneventful but the arrival to the historical center confirmed that this was a good destination for a day trip. The clean, fresh air and the thick fog, slowly lifting to reveal the lush green mountain behind the calm lakes and ponds of the Lake Gardens, was a welcome respite to the rather industrial setting of Lumut, our home.

Our first stop was to walk around the Lake Gardens. I could feel the British influence with the gardens looking a bit like a miniature Hyde Park with palm and mangrove trees. However, the presence of wild monkeys and the picnic areas with Chinese-style roofs and bridges reminded me that I was in Malaysia. I walked within five feet of a mama monkey wielding a large stick in one hand and cuddling her newborn baby in the other. Needless to say, I was trying to snap pictures without rousing her wrathful, protective attention.

Mama monkey with baby cuddled in left hand and large stick (can't see) in right.

The next stop was the Allied War cemetery marking the deaths of over 850 war causalities with over 500 unidentified soliders killed during the Japanese occupation of Malaysia during WWII.

The next stop, a fact-finding trip to the base of Bukit Larut (Maxwell's Hill) informed me that we need to be in line at 7:30 am for the first-come-first-served 30 minute, 13 kilometer Land Rover trip to the top of the 1250 meter above sea level mountain. Unfortunately, tickets were sold out for today. The 13 kilometer hike to the top will be a goal for another day.

Base of climb to Maxwell's Hill

Labu Pottery at Perak State Museum

The next stop on the journey was the Perak State Museum. The building itself it nice to see and some of the artifacts inside helped me to better understand the culture and the flora and fauna of the area. The expressions on some of the stuffed animals made me think the taxidermist had a sense of humor, ( a lot of the dead animals were smiling...maybe he heard the radio commercial  telling us to smile- see earlier blog post---) but I'm not sure I actually want to see some of these animals in real life to confirm my theory. The wild cats, the giant flying rodents, the armored ant and termite eaters, the 24- foot long crocodile skeleton, and the python skeleton of the same length are kind of creepy and not something I want to meet in real life.


All during the day I was haunted by the idea that I should know Taiping for some reason. Thank goodness for the internet as I'm sure now, that I was confusing Taiping, China with Taiping, Malaysia. Here's what Wikipedia says about the Taiping Rebellion, that occurred in China. (I vaguely remember a tick on a time-line I'm sure I had to memorize in high school World History class.)

The Taiping Rebellion was a massive civil war in southern China from 1850 to 1864, against the ruling Manchu-led Qing Dynasty. It was a millenarian movement led by Hong Xiuquan, who announced that he had received visions in which he learned that he was the younger brother of Jesus. At least 20 million people died, mainly civilians, in one of the deadliest military conflicts in history.

So then I wondered where Taiping, Malaysia got its name. Prior to being called Taiping, it was called Klian Puah. (Klian means "mine" and Puah is a type of mango) .Again from Wikipedia I learned that the discovery of tin brought lots of Chinese workers to Malaysia although the vicious  deadly fights among many of the different Chinese clans forced the British to intervene. In addition , 

many Hakka had fled China when the Taiping Rebellion broke out there and found work in the mines of Chung Keng Quee ... from 1860 to 1884.

Although there has been a decline in tin mining deposits in the area, tin, rubber and rice continue to be important products in the Taiping economy. Many of the businesses maintain the Chinese shop house architecture while many government buildings have the Colonial architecture style. There are Catholic, Methodist, British and International schools along with the traditional Malay schools.Taiping is also the wettest place in Malaysia and a heavy downpour beginning in early afternoon confirmed that fact.

Although the tourist guides books give scant mention to Taiping, it is well worth a day trip.