Located less than 5 minutes from my house is a monkey park. I've heard many stories about the naughty monkeys in this park so I was a little bit shy about going....Here's a conversation I had with a taxi driver:
Driver: Have you been to the monkey park yet?
Me: Not yet, but I'd like to!
Driver: You must go in the evening. The monkeys are more active then. Also, bring them some food. They like food.
Me: Like bananas?
Driver: Yes and mangoes, rambutan, durian, papaya. It doesn't matter. They like it all. But be careful. The monkeys are naughty.
Me: How so?
Driver: They will attack you.
Me: Oooh. Yuk. Have they got diseases?
Driver: I don't know. Just be sure to put the food in a plastic bag. Tie the bag shut. Throw it out of the car window before you get out of the car. Then they won't attack you.
Me: Plastic bag. Got it.....(thinking a bit) Do they eat the plastic bag?
Driver: Sometimes. And sometimes they are clever and open the bag and just let the empty bags hang from the mangrove trees.
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| Monkeys eating durian or pineapple ( couldn't get close enough to tell) |
Here's a conversation I had with a neighbor:
Neighbor: Have you been to the monkey park yet?
Me: No,. I think I'd like to, but I don't want to be attacked.
Neighbor: Yes, the monkeys are very naughty. I take my kids but they won't get out of the car. I throw the bag of rotten bananas out the window. After the monkeys have grabbed the bag and climbed to the top of a tree, I venture out of the car.
Me: What else do the monkeys eat?
Neighbor: Peanuts, tin cans, plastic lids..Pretty much everything.
Me: I'll have to go sometime...
Here's a conversation I had with a different neighbor:
Neighbor: Have you been to the monkey park yet?
Me: No, but it's on my list.
Neighbor: It's hilarious. I go every night. Last night this monkey took the car keys from a Malay father's hand...apparently the keys were in the bag of fruit. Then the monkey climbed to the top of a very tall mangrove tree to enjoy his booty. The Malay family was begging the monkey to come down. "Please monkey, please monkey, give us back our keys." The monkey ate the fruit. The monkey tried to eat the keys. The monkey pressed the alarm button on the car. Beep, Beep, Beep. The Malay family kept begging. The monkey kept teasing. The, the monkey held the keys out at arm's length and dropped them into the swamp. Kerplunk.
Me: Oh, no! And then what happened?
Neighbor: The dad reached into the mucky, dirty, poop-filled swamp and tried to retrieve the keys.
Me: Was he successful?
Neighbor: Not while I was there.
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| Monkeys on mangrove tree in swamp |
Anyway, tonight while biking through the neighborhood, I made the random decision to bike on over and see what everyone has been talking about. I hadn't planned ahead so I didn't have any food, which based on some of the stories, seemed like a good idea.
There were a mixture of brave souls at the park following monkeys around trying to snap cute pictures with their cameras. There were many who were charmed by the monkey antics but who remained locked in their cars and snapped photos through their tinted glass. There were the "couples" who appeared to be on dates. The brave boyfriends cautiously left their cars to approach the monkeys while their reluctant dates cowered in their hermetically sealed vehicles cheering on their brave men.
One girlfriend who must have been getting hot wearing heavy clothing from head to foot, cracked her car window about six inches to let in some fresh air and took a loud slurp of her super-sized soft drink. A ballsy monkey must have heard her slurp jumped right up to the open window to have a taste. She shrieked all while trying to roll up the window as quickly as possible.
And then there's not-so-brave-but-really-need-some-Facebook-photos me. Having only brought my cell phone, I needed to get up close and personal. My first several attempts were not too bad. The monkeys would walk towards me until they figured out that I had nothing to offer. Then, they'd turn, scratch their butts or armpits and walk away. I got a few pictures. But I wanted to capture the expressions on their faces, their babies hanging from their mom's fur, their playful rough and tumble behavior. I got a little braver.
Unfortunately one monkey was not pleased. She (I learned that she was a "she" for reasons I'll explain a little later) pulled back her upper lip, bared her teeth and starting walking towards me with a low growl. At first I started kicking my feet, backing away from her, emitting my "I'm scared phenoms" and saying "No, No!" But then, I remembered that I'm about five feet taller than her with opposing thumbs that used to be able to play a Bach Fugue, and I'd watched the movie "Gorillas in the Mist" with Sigourney Weaver playing Dian Fossey, the gorilla lady so, I held my ground, looked her (the girl monkey) straight in the eye, raised my upper lip, and showed her that my teeth are bigger than hers.
Just then her monkey boyfriend approached from behind....behind her...that is. Obviously I'd interrupted a little monkey business at the park. With my big teeth and gums showing, I gradually backed away slowly walked to my bicycle. The two monkeys lost interest in me and resumed their activity while the song "Discovery Channel Song" played in my head.
Next time I'll bring fruit in a baggie. And, I'll be smarter than the average monkey. I won't put my keys in the bag.
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