At parent conferences today I was asked, "How's our daughter's personality?"
I paused before answering. I really like this student. In my eyes, she's hard working, self-motivated, driven, personable, confident, intelligent, and assertive.
On the other hand, one of my colleagues, a female Chinese teacher, recently remarked that this student is too aggressive. She is too confident. She should be more submissive to the teacher.
Here's how I began my answer:
"From my American background, my cultural perspective, she is...(see above).
I then went on to explain - these are not native speakers- that "assertive"- acting in one's own best interest without denying other's theirs- is a good thing in my mind. She asks questions, she wants knowledge, she wants success. "Aggressive" - ready or likely to attack or confront - has a negative connotation (outside of sports). Their daughter has friends and does not step on other toes to get what she wants.
I wish more students here were "assertive."
The parents seemed satisfied.
To be honest, this student seems so "normal" from my experience with 14 year old American teenage girls that I'd never even given her much additional thought.
But I realize if the parents desire a submissive, passive, daughter in order to "fit" into a culture, they may need to have a "family meeting."
I paused before answering. I really like this student. In my eyes, she's hard working, self-motivated, driven, personable, confident, intelligent, and assertive.
On the other hand, one of my colleagues, a female Chinese teacher, recently remarked that this student is too aggressive. She is too confident. She should be more submissive to the teacher.
Here's how I began my answer:
"From my American background, my cultural perspective, she is...(see above).
I then went on to explain - these are not native speakers- that "assertive"- acting in one's own best interest without denying other's theirs- is a good thing in my mind. She asks questions, she wants knowledge, she wants success. "Aggressive" - ready or likely to attack or confront - has a negative connotation (outside of sports). Their daughter has friends and does not step on other toes to get what she wants.
I wish more students here were "assertive."
The parents seemed satisfied.
To be honest, this student seems so "normal" from my experience with 14 year old American teenage girls that I'd never even given her much additional thought.
But I realize if the parents desire a submissive, passive, daughter in order to "fit" into a culture, they may need to have a "family meeting."
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