Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Golfing in Lumut, Malaysia

I'm not a good golfer. Sure, I can hit an occasional ball that is straight and has both loft and distance. And, one-in-a-while, I can sink a 15-foot putt going up a  hill with a slight break to the right. On rare occasion, I can hit a ball out of a sand trap. Once I  actually hit a ball across a body water and it landed on the other side rather than plunking in the middle of the lake. No, I'm NOT a good golfer.  But, I LOVE golf courses and the "idea" of golfing in exotic places and making new friends. So, when given the opportunity to golf in Malaysia, it was easy to say "yes."

Not being sure what to expect regarding dress code, I bought a no-name, collared shirt (no Polo Garage 3- inch logos for me) during my last trip to KL. I figured my well-worn Eddie Bauer purple skort could suffice as a golf skirt, and my super comfortable purple Keens could pretend to be the sporty Keen golf shoes I'd seen during my last trip to the States. My friend's spare set of Chinese imitation Callaway clubs completed my ensemble.

After passing through the security gate and walking to the Pro Shop, our first line a business was to pay our fees. Luckily my friends were members so I could pay the guest rate of 94RM (about $32). In addition to the green fees, carts, caddies, and insurance were required bringing the grand total for the day to 147 RM or $45.32  Now, I don't want to sound cheap but I was flummoxed as to why I needed both a cart AND a caddie. I mean, doesn't the caddie carry my clubs? And doesn't a cart carry the clubs? Why would I need both? Besides, a caddie might actually figure out that I can only use about 5 of the 14 clubs in the bag anyway. In addition,  I had the audacity to also inquire what the "insurance" is for.

Me: What's the insurance for?
Cashier: Huh? 
(I guess she didn't understand my accent.)
Me: So... The insurance... 4 ringits ($1.14)....Is it for if I break a window or hit a golfer on the head?
(I was trying to be funny but the "for if" sentence structure is pretty complicated. I could tell she didn't understand)
Cashier: Insurance. Oh. You break you club. We fix. Not give new club. Fix old club.
(I'm imagining collecting on my insurance payment after I get angry, hit my new Big Bertha against a palm tree, and break it in two..not that it's ever happened but just imaginging..)
Me: OK. Can I buy a couple of balls and tees too?

A few minutes later, the three of us headed to our respective carts, gave the marshal our "paid" receipt and waited for our caddie.We were the only people at the club house (and I suspect on the course) aside from the cashier, the marshal, 5 gardeners, 2 security guards, one bathroom attendant, and one restaurant server. The view in front of us was beautiful: all sizes and colors of mature palm trees, glorious shrubs and flowers in full bloom, lovely ponds with mirror reflections of the greenery surrounding them, birds chatting, 3-foot long reptiles lazily crossing the cart path while curling and uncurling their pointy tongues in front of us. Being only 8:30 in the morning, the temperature was still comfortable and the angle of the sun was still providing ample shade.

After another few minutes, it became clear that the caddie was not there - possibly sleeping was the idea we entertained. Luckily there were no crowds rushing us to tee off, but the threat of finishing in the noon-day heat and the fact that the marshal said he would bring the caddie later, prompted us to start our engines.

Teeing off with unfamiliar clubs and after a long hiatus was not too bad. My golfing buddies have fluid strokes, hit nice drives in the sweet spot of the club, and know the course hazards. But I don't think I held them up too much. Golf balls bounce well and get good distance on the cart path. Palm tree trunks can angle a ball right back onto the fairway. And, the tall grass in the rough acts just like a tee. My driver works great. Sure I'd like to shoot a couple of birdies and par a couple of holes like them but I don't think I have the motivation to practice. Besides, I bring the "fun" in golf with my jokes and antics. Practice would mean "serious" and who needs that?!

Back to the caddie...she showed up in the middle of hole two. She was wearing black jeans, a yellow, long sleeved shirt with a tight collar up to her neck, a white baseball cap with a long towel hanging out from all sides and covering her forehead, ear, and neck, and weightlifting gloves on her hands. I'm sure the idea is to keep as little sun off her skin as possible but I was getting even hotter just looking at her. Sweat was dripping into my eyes by about the 3rd hole and it wasn't from physical exertion..Remember, we had carts AND a caddie.

(As a side note, the caddies are all young (maybe 14-18 year olds?) females from Indonesia  She marked our balls on the greens, wiped off our clubs, and cheered  for us with polite clapping if we made a good shot.)

Because golfing is not my passion, but rather a beautiful "walk in the park",  Malaysia is perfect for me. There is no rush from a low-handicap male, foursome behind me. There is no fear and pressure from a 220 yard drive landing next to me as I try to chip on the green. There is no marshal driving towards me on the cart path yelling "pick up the pace" only to find that I have to sit and wait at the next hole because the next 5 holes are backed up. (All of the previous examples are true.) In fact, even on Sundays here in Lumut when the number of golfers increases from 3 to around 15 (and 5 of those 15 are expats), the only rush is to "beat the heat". Golfing in Malaysia is stress-free, beautiful, and reasonably priced. Yes, I'll do it again, but I will still ride my bike sooner than I'll practice my golf game.








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